1) Whittle away your Thursday and Friday writing a screenplay. Write 20 pages per sitting. Write a vast majority of that screenplay on a school computer. Email the document to yourself. Once you're on your own computer, download the document and continue working on it.
2) On the Friday night, after you've been in the library for 7 hours (using your own laptop), take a break by cleaning up your hard drive. Close and carefully save the precious Word documents on your computer.
I think you know where this is going.
3) Click "free up space on your hard drive" prompt and include Temporary Files as well as the contents of your recycle bin.
4) Once that's done, click on "My Documents" and look for your monster of a screenplay...........and fail to find it.
5) Realize, with horror, that in your stupidity, you downloaded your screenplay and began working on it while it was still in the "TEMP" file that hotmail automatically saves documents to.
6) Have a jarring flashback of your mouse button clicking "DELETE TEMPORARY INTERNET FILES" when you were clearing your hard drive.
7) Frantically google "recover files from recycle bin" and read instructions only to see "BUY OUR $500 SOFTWARE AND INSTALL" as the last step.
8) Fill up the bathtub with water, climb in, and bring your laptop with you.
9) Die of electrocution.
OR
8) Before you decide to kill yourself, think back and have a vision of yourself clicking "clean 'C' drive ONLY"
9) Open your email account, re-download your file, and watch it going into the "D" drive.
10) Explore the TEMP file in your "D" drive and stumble upon GLORIOUS TREASURE: YOUR SCREENPLAY AS YOU LAST SAW IT.
11) Thank Jesus, the saints, and the Holy Mother ... and then save your screenplay onto every drive and email account possible.
God doesn't hate me after all, it seems.
originally written on 11/30/07
Sunday, November 30, 2008
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